These are pointless activities that fill our lives when we have nothing else to do. We think they could also fill in the gaps in our soul - solve our problems, take our minds off things and help us relax.
However, they rarely keep their promise. Instead, they quickly become suckers for energy, enthusiasm, focus, and mental clarity.
Their specialty is to appear harmless at the moment. But putting them together over weeks or months forms bad habits that are hard to break.
They seem innocent and "natural", but they rob us of our most important resource - time. Here is a list of those filters that you should reduce or avoid to get the most out of life.
Television
Who am I kidding? Television is not our favorite vice. It's Netflix! Or another OTT platform.
Either way, if you're like most people and binge-watch your favorite episodes, you should reconsider how you spend your time.
3662 adults over the age of 50 were examined during the English Longitudinal Study of Aging. Participants measure the time they spend watching television as well as their thinking and reasoning skills.
The study authors looked at time spent watching television in 2008-2009 and cognitive measures of language and memory in 2014-2015. Over this six-year period, people who watched 3.5 hours of television a day experienced greater declines in verbal memory, independent of other factors such as socioeconomic status, general physical health, and Depression.
It is something of a seemingly non-toxic activity.
Dr. Vancourt, Ph.D., a researcher at University College London, explains why watching television leads to such a decline in cognitive abilities. When you watch television, all you are doing is passively receiving rapid changes in sounds and images.
"Lab studies have shown that watching TV leads to more alertness but less concentration. Some TV shows are stressful, and stress is also linked to cognitive impairment." You're not just deteriorating mentally, you're also deteriorating physically - most of the time watching TV is inactive.
I'm not saying TV and movies aren't good. But we must exercise our distinction to:
- Determine the time spent on it
- Choose the right type of content to watch
I can intuitively tell a lot about you by the type of content you watch. Because it greatly affects our consciousness, moods, and behaviors.
Just as a slow-running faucet can waste gallons of water in a day, the habit of watching a frenzy gather for two years is phenomenal, though it seems insignificant at the moment.
Gossiping
It is often said that gossip is important for us to survive and socialize. Indeed, psychologist Robin Dunbar wrote, “If we had not been able to engage in discussions about these [social and personal] issues, we would not have been able to sustain the kind of society we know.
A gossip is a form of cultural learning. And that might indicate that it's not always negative. But I'm not talking about the esoteric definition provided by research. I'm referring to conversations about other people, who are never validated, and sexy, that you talk about after you're done drinking.
While it can help connect people, the connection is fragile. Deep connections don't consist of casual chatter. Small talk always comes out of big mouths.
As many will attest, gossip often leaves us feeling empty inside. It develops a subconscious belief that you're the type to talk about people behind their backs. That we always revolve around what we can't control. Or things that have nothing to do with us.
Don't let important things slip away in mindless gossip.
Shiv Khaira in his book You Can Win presents practical questions to take out of your life. The next time you tend to gossip, ask yourself the following questions:
- Is this the truth?
- Is he cute and sweet?
- Is it necessary?
- Are you spreading rumors?
- Do I say positive things about others?
- Do I appreciate and encourage others to spread rumors?
- Does my conversation start with "Don't tell anyone?"
- Can I maintain confidentiality?
Just pdare one of these questions to break the cycle of chatter and avoid toxicity.
Properties
We tend to think that to achieve peace we need many things. At some point, we've all thought of the perfect antiques that would look great on the side table and didn't need to be there in the first place!
To some extent, owning property and living in a beautiful place is a good thing. I do not encourage asceticism. But if you let it get out of control, it takes a lot of money, time, and mental energy. The more things you have, the more you have to clean and rearrange them. Add to that the constant worry of its collapse.
In Delhi, India, the city where I live, the apartment concept is popular. There are floors and floors full of apartments built with exactly the same dimensions.
As a child, I remember going to my friend's house in the same apartment and thinking "Wow, this place is so much bigger than ours!" Later, I said to my mother, in a pang of excitement and jealousy, "Mom, they both have a bigger house in the same apartment complex!"
Then my mother explained to me that there are only fewer things in the living room than us, which makes the room feel bigger. Unfortunately, this is true so far. So far our living room has 4 sofas and 2 chairs for heaven's sake!
As you can imagine, this makes everything complicated - finding often folded shoes under the sofa, no space to move around, and excessive cleaning when someone starts collecting dust.
When you live in such a place, you won't be surprised to see minimalism flare-up. People have finally realized that peace of mind is the top priority and not the momentary satisfaction of owning things. Maybe you should too
Social Media
Social media is in many ways the television, radio, and newspaper of our generation. Countless hours are wasted on social media, as you read this, by people trying to convince others of what they have and what they are doing.
Like everything in life, not all social media is bad. I write and post on LinkedIn myself - but I try to be useful to people, rather than boast. I'm not saying my content is good for consumption and some of it isn't. But where to draw the line is up to you.
I know people who can't help but be alone for a minute before opening Instagram. I've seen subway people "pull the update" on Instagram hundreds of times on a short ride.
In the end, it's just an unhealthy concern for other people's lives. The best people in the world can be creative on social media, but don't spend their time consuming it.
I have long since deleted Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat and haven't downloaded any other social media apps that have come out since. Without a doubt, I feel much better now.
lots of reading
When I started reading, I had a big problem - I wanted to read and finish everything that interested me. I soon realized that wasn't going to happen, so I stopped reading for a while.
A few months later, I returned to reading in full force. But this time I went to the other end of the spectrum - I was reading all the time, literally. Whether I was queuing for groceries or taking a road trip, I had a book in my hand.
That didn't work either. Because the balance is right in the middle. Consider what Naval Ravikant has to say about reading:
"I just see it as a blog archive. A blog can have 300 posts and you can only read the two, three, or five posts you need right now. I think you can think of a book in the same way. Then it opens up the world. Book Network opens up to us instead of burying it somewhere.
“Feel free to jump; It's your book. There are books that literally started in the middle of this one. I read towards the end and then I gave up... This editing, this freedom only allows me to read."
Reading for the sake of reading "the stuffing" should be rejected. Just because others think you should read James Clear's "Atomic Habits" doesn't mean you should. I still haven't read it. I could be wrong, I could be right. But who cares.
Many of the books themselves are "filler" books. They have an idea that they continue to encapsulate the entire book. The titles may be promising, but the content seems like a bunch of fluff.
Reading books is not a competition. It may look good on your Goodreads profile, but that doesn't matter. It's not about what you read, it's about what you understand.
SwamiSri Yukteswar spent months reciting an aphorism from Patanjali's Yoga Sutras. His followers often wished to move on. But he always insisted on understanding it and meditating on it longer.
Thus, it took a long time to complete the proverbs written by Patanjali. But once they did, Sri Yukteswar told his disciples that they don't need to read the scriptures anymore. They understand everything they need.
This is the power of the pursuit of understanding over quantity. Don't chase the vanity ladder. Life is too short for that.
Music
Although no one talks about it, I've said it before - music can be dangerous depending on how you use it.
A study that explored the use of music to regulate mood found that the wrong kind of music can exacerbate a person's feelings of depression. Moreover, when in a bad mood, we are more likely to listen to music that harms us, if we are not suspicious of this fact.
Happy and uplifting music can help you feel positive thoughts that allow you to achieve your dreams, while sad music can put you out of the mood. Why? Because music transcends the mind and goes straight to the heart.
You don't listen to a sad song and think "I just feel sad after hearing this." You automatically feel sad.
Therefore, pay attention to the type of music you listen to in your free time. It holds the key to your mental and emotional state - think about it carefully.
Negative people
There will inevitably be people in your life who create unnecessary drama. Out of interest or politeness, we decide to follow, thinking that our friendship is more important.
But eventually, you'll catch up, until there's nothing more you can do about it. These people are not knowledgeable enough to work on improving themselves and frustrate you as well.
Distancing yourself from their company mentally, if not physically. Instead of indulging in their drama, pray for them to recover from this negative energy.
This way you won't get caught in their useless "glasses" and keep your cool all the time.
The action you can avoid
Recently, I realized the power of what Marc Aurèle said in his Reflections: “If you are looking for calm, do less.
Simplicity and simplicity are ideals not only for your material possessions but also for your mind. We fill our lives with things we know we can't do partly because we're poor planners.
In any case, the key to a happier life is not to do more but to do less, but better. Whatever you do in life, ask yourself "Is it necessary?" What will happen if you don't?
In many cases the answer is no, it just doesn't matter. By making a little effort, you do not run away from your responsibilities. In fact, you're doing your best for the things that matter: your job, your relationships, and yourself.
After all, shouldn't we be in a situation where we just do things because we have nothing else to do, right?
How to fill the freed time?
If reading this list makes you feel like I'm being too extreme, let me tell you this. I am still short on the points I mention. I work a lot, indulge in my favorite shows from time to time, and resort to lively discussions with my friends when I get the chance.
Because the goal is not perfection - no one knows where the perfection begins and ends. The goal is to be aware. Knowing that these things are nothing more than "fillers".
When you find yourself trapped in one of these fillers, take a careful look at your life and do some soul-searching. See how you can reduce.
Of course, you have to fill your time with "something". So use that time to do things that not only fill your time but add more to it.
To figure out what those activities are, think about the things you've always wanted to do but never had the time for. Exercise, meditate, read, learn guitar, etc. Then replace those loads with those activities.
In the end, you will be more satisfied and happier. Charges are energy suckers. It drains your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energy. Cut those weeds from your garden of conscience to plant seeds that will soon bloom.
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