Samuel Smiles wrote his first self-help novel in 1859. The title was appropriately self-help and sold 250,000 copies, a huge number at the time. She released smiles from relative obscurity to fame and enormous fortune and traveled the country as a teacher.
What's troubling and disturbing is that Smiles' previous careers as a doctor and journalist were a series of failures.
Perhaps he is poetic in his own way. The self-help industry is worth over $10 billion a year and growing. Many of its players dance across the stages and make big promises to their constituents, all at low prices but only if you buy today. There is a lot to be gained from self-improvement. But pay attention to these three things.
A symbolic but true sailing story
Around the age of 10, a friend of mine suddenly had a new passion for surfing. We lived in Florida, so that was a big thing. Its walls were covered with posters. He can name every surfer, as well as many types of waves. His encyclopedic knowledge of surfing was quite impressive - until he actually surfed.
I was surprised. He couldn't even stand on his plate for more than two seconds. To be fair, I couldn't. But I didn't spend a lot of time studying and talking about surfing.
This speaks to a common problem of self-improvement. People read self-help books for hours. They listen to podcasts and attend seminars. They do everything except the actual work. However, by addressing the issue, they feel like they are getting things done. That's why blogs with titles like "Little Habits" are so popular — they suggest that massive change comes from small increases in effort.
The easiest way to improve is to focus on a simple framework or set of tips. Put that reading time directly into effort instead. Our brain cannot focus on twenty self-help priorities at once. It is focused efforts spread over periods that produce lasting change. In other words, dedication.
Perfect case
The teacher's message often sounds like a miserable job and he does not feel fulfilled. It's easy for readers to confuse this with "I'm not good enough". It is easier when these teachers succeed, attract and attract. They seem to be at the top of their game.
However, even though everything these teachers say is true, people forget that their personality is a verb. Each of them is still at the mercy of the conceptual change caused by proliferation. It is the phenomenon by which you redefine the problems of your life as your situation improves. This is why not having time to do yoga before brunch becomes such a big deal in life. So you can be sure that some of these experts are complaining about having to fix the third Porsche.
The second pitfall of self-improvement is thinking about the promised land where you suddenly stop feeling broken. Contentment and the practice of gratitude should go beyond any task to improve your life. The work never stops.
To make an analogy, imagine yourself as a video game console - PlayStation 3. It's not broken. It was amazing. But there's still room for improvement, which is why Sony created the PlayStation 4. Think of yourself as a consumer product going through an evolution of research and development. Don't let self-improvement crush your self-image.
Credibility problem
I had a moderate disagreement with a very popular Quora writer several years ago. In his now-deleted letter, he called on people to drop out of school and pursue their dreams. He said education doesn't matter and told all the bullshit that life coaches so often preach.
My problem wasn't just that he was wrong - because he was. Even with increased costs, earning a college degree is still one of the most reliable ways to increase lifetime earnings. My biggest problem was his hypocrisy. He graduated from Ivy League College. He used this degree to get a job on Wall Street. He used this successful experience to sell his self-help books.
As someone who writes to improve, I can assure you that producing content isn't difficult. You just need to research what people are saying and piece it together. Even if you have no source for your claims, people will devour them.
What I mean is that credibility is important. If someone claims to improve themselves and change your life, make sure they have the power. I love reading articles written by scholars who have worked on a subject and met people whose demands have been chosen by committees.
The good news is that there is a huge body of research that covers many of the things self-improvement authors talk about. There are proven ways to change your life. But don't drink someone's Kool-Aid without justification.
It's reminiscent of a line from Bernard Shaw's Man and Superman, "Those who can do; those who can't, know." Be careful with your sources of advice.
I hope each of you will never stop searching. Self-improvement is a noble and good journey. If you want to succeed, watch out for these three pitfalls.
You consume a lot of self-help but do no work. Choose a set of tips and focus on those goals before hunting another rabbit.
You start to feel bad about yourself because of the content you read. Remember that not everything is as perfect as it seems on the internet. Practice gratitude and appreciation for the blessings in your life.
Make sure your author cites sources or has authority on the subject. Don't buy sizzle when you need a steak.
Finally, be sure to celebrate milestones. The other day I saw a woman posting her latest photos of her fitness progress. She was thrilled with the results and shared them with all of us. When I see people taking the time to hit the ball and feeling good about their journey, I know they have a chance to achieve their goals.
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